Pro Cycling News – Gene Doping, Milram, and Sperm

Dec 6 2005

Yes, I’m sorry, I know it’s 10pm EDT. But some people have jobs. And, as I am not one of those people, I have to drive some distance to interviews to become one of them. It’s not like I missed reporting on a whole heck of a lot, anyway. There was some crazy futuristic doping symposium, but again, Cyclocosm failed to be invited. “Most experts do not think that gene transfer is being used by athletes yet,” the assembled said, and for once, Dick Pound agreed. There’s also some very old school stuff, like this pair of cycling gloves, apparently modeled on 007’s golf kit from Goldfinger, and this report on Basso riding the ’06 Giro. That’s so five minutes ago. What are you gonna spring on me next? Britney Spears’ marital problems? Yeah, no one’s heard of that before, either.

Really, though, such a tardy posting allows me in fact, to be early. (Take that, Flat Earth Society!) I can bring you news Milram team management has “clarified” (scroll down) the respective roles of Alessandro Petacchi and Erik Zabel for next season. Gerry van Gerwen, the man upon whom this two-headed monstrosity has been foisted, had this to say:

“It’s a great advantage…[at the TdF] Petacchi offers the certainty of one, two or more stage wins. If that happens early the team could then concentrate on working for Erik to take the green jersey.”

Sure, that makes sense. Win some stages early, get the maillot vert, then start working for your other sprinter to win the maillot vert back…from yourself. If you think that’s bad, wait ’til you see the game plan for San Remo (same link).

You know who’s skinny? Dario Cioni. He’s also half British, and pretty smart. Check out this here interview, in which he makes a relatively well-reasoned arguement against the final split-stage at the Giro (but this is my webpage, so I still get to say he’s wrong). Anyway, you’re probably wondering why I started this paragraph by mention how skinny he is. Well, I did that to give you a “normal” skinny guy to compare Michael Rasmussen against. Rasmussen is so skinny, in fact, that when I hear of him becoming a father (scroll to “Rasmussen”), my first thought, due to the negative effects of an extremely low body fat concentration on sperm production, is that it might not be his.

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