May 4 2007
Phew! Yesterday, I almost thought I was reporting on like, golf, or some sport where things actually make sense. Good thing I’ve got Christian Prudhomme, Pat McQuaid, and Tyrannosaurus Lefevere to call for a “coalition of the willing” – I’m sorry, I mean a “sacred union” – to fight against “terrorist kil -” excuse me, “cheaters” – wherever they are. Prudhomme took inspiration from “German justice” – referring obviously to the historic events in Dachau – I’m sorry, Guantanamo – no, that’s in Cuba – oh, he meant the Ullrich thing? Really? But no actual use of the German justice system has occurred yet…ah well – the important part of the message is that the UCI aims to “confound the riders”, which, as the official mandatory riders’ union, is exactly what it should be doing.
Further cementing the bond between the UCI and their frenemies in The Cartel, the Giro d’Italia organizers have asked the UCI for help in deciding who to ban from the upcoming Italian Grand Tour. As you may recall, the two entities had been in something of a dick measuring contest over which side of the ProTour netting Sweedish-based shuttlecock Unibet.com should fall. It’s seems that the two sides have agreed to meet halfway, with each getting equal say on which riders cannot participate in cycling events. Puerto refugee Michele Scarponi has taken an interesting dodge around this first action of the “sacred union”, by taking one for the team and voluntarily declaring himself out of the Giro.
Meanwhile, there continues to be bike racing. Riding with his three-man break, T-Mobile’s Marco Pinotti managed to miraculously not take the yellow jersey from the unflappable Paolo Savoldelli in today’s Romandie stage. Japanese national champion and Discovery rider Fumiyuki Beppu almost took what would have been a huge stage win (not quite $103 million big), but it turns out he’s not that great a sprinter, and Lampre’s Matteo Bono took the honors instead. And there’s another silly Spanish stage race going on. You know I think that sort of competition is overrepresented, though, so all you get from me are plaincake results links.