Henninger Turm, Romandie Prologue, Liege Views, Dope News

May 1 2007

Am I slipping? I feel like I am. I seem to recall I was once funnier, more incisive. I used to watch races on the Internet, instead of whining about the weak dollar. I feel two Giros d’Italia ago, I would have been able to make more light of Ivan Basso’s ridiculous statement that he is “at peace”, mere days after he decried the “time bomb” justice leveled against him. Or maybe I could spin something out of relaxing a gag order on an organization lorded over by one of the most reckless loudmouths in the history of sport. But no, there’s nothing. It’s like the cube has reduced my brain to oatmeal.

I could riff endlessly on how it’s “International Labor Day” because international workers are too lazy to wait for the real Labor Day in September like red-blooded Americans. Maybe I could then tie that in somehow with this German beer race, and then bounce on the beer thing to this Liege report, and then say something snarky like “ah, the beer – maybe that’s why Pez couldn’t tell the difference between the words “Mur’ and ‘Huy’.” But I just don’t have it today.

See? Now I’ve got no lead-in for the Romandie prologue. Or this story on how the German Cycling Federation sees DNA testing as a panacea for all cycling’s ills. Steroids? EPO? HGH? How will DNA help you with those? I thought Germans were supposed to be ahead in the sciences? Ah well. At least that gives me something to close out on. For all the anti-dope hardliners out there, who think cycling as a whole has lost all credibility, keep in mind that there are plenty of fantastic things that happen on bikes every day.

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