Is It Just Me, Or Has Lance Gone Bonkers?

Aug 13 2009

lanceWhat’s Lance’s deal lately? Spreading scurrilous rumors about truncated April Vueltas. Everyone knows that the rain—or snow, as the case may be—falls mainly on the plain in the Low Countries until at least May.

Would the UCI seriously want to restart its proxy war with the Grand Tour organizers by shortening the Vuelta to 14 days? Even with a retooled (and presumably ProTour-backed) Coors Classic to fill the gap, I doubt that’s a power move the UCI is willing to make—at least until the results of the Tour of Cali/Giro d’Italia showdown are in.

I blame low blood sugar from what is clearly a case of manorexia gone bad. Unsatisfied with simply beating him on the GC, Lance is also gunning for Brad Wiggins’ mark of 4% body fat (which, by the way, still isn’t too skinny, to double-fist). And all this in training for what—setting the record at some mountain bike race?

What ever happened to raiding the Brussels Metro for that Hour Record attempt? Or are you just waiting to hit 40, so you can equal the feat of Francesco Moser—who, by the way, hasn’t been out of shape since the Johnson Administration. Of course, Moser’s record made use of great strides in aerodynamics—and some other fields as well. Lord only knows the rumors that would fly if Lance set it.

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