Frequently Asked Questions – FAQ

May 2 2005

There are lots of other cycling resources on the Internet. What does this page have to offer that others don’t?
You may have noticed that other cycling webpages are full of ads. These ads pay the salaries of the writers, editors and technicians who work those pages. Now, think carefully: when was the last time you saw a product thoroughly panned by a review on a cycling webpage or in a cycling magazine? There’s a pretty serious conflict of interest there, and you can see it in the “Editor’s Choices” of pretty much every publication, from Mountain Bike Action to Cycle Sport. The opinions and reports given on Cyclocosm are guaranteed independent; I don’t get paid for this, so I’ve got no feeding hand to worry about biting.

But your page has ads…
Yes, but I never interact directly with the advertisers. They pay Google, then Google decides to put the ads here. So if I review a crappy wheelset, even if the company that makes the wheelset has an ad here, I don’t have to worry about losing sponsorship money if I give the product a bad review. I suppose you could argue that I’ve got financial incentive not to bash Google now, but honestly, I like Google, and at any rate, they’ve got better things to worry about than me.

Dude, your news sections are not particularly informative or depth. What’s the deal with that?
Well, the idea is that you’d get the actual news from a well-funded, globally-active organization, like Cyclingnews, and then maybe swing by here for some humorous and unbiased analysis. Or, you’d come here for a quick, paragraph long recap, and go there for deep coverage. But hey, if you want your entire knowledge of European pro cycling to be dependent on some punk with an iBook, that’s cool too.

I disagree with an opinion and/or attitude expressed in one of your rants.
I don’t care. If you don’t like it, get your own blog. They’re free. Or you could just leave a comment.

It’s hard to be professional cyclist. Why are you so mean to certain riders?
Because it’s funny, because they get paid to ride a bike, because their lactate thresholds are higher than mine, and most of all, because I can. Seriously, though, I don’t think I am particularly harsh in my criticism (of the riders, at least). Sure, I call Jan fat, criticize Lance for selling his brand above his sport, and call out Simoni for having a mouth that consistently bounces checks on his legs’ expense account; but none of those statements will leave anyone crying themselves to sleep at night.

I was totally at [race x] last weekend and your report is way off.
Think of my race reports as “Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories”, but instead of being about the nightlife in 1980s Los Angeles, it’s about low-level amateur bike racing in America. It’s factual in so far as I can make it without sacrificing storyline. Again, if this bothers you, you can start your own blog.

I found some grammatical errors, typos and misspellings.
That’s not a question, jerk, but I smell what you’re stepping in. I try fairly hard to keep everything up to spec around here. But occasionally something does slip by me. Just send me an email (address below) and I’ll get on fixing it ASAP.

On a related note, why can’t you make up your mind on quotation marks and closing punctuation?
Because when I leave punctuation (.,?!; etc.) marks inside quotations, it implies that they are part of what the original speaker said, when in fact they’re just a result of my usage of that quotation. But since I was born, raised and continue to be an American, I have hard time letting go of sentences nicely bookended by quotation marks; thus, punctuation marks in quotations less than a full sentence in length tend to find themselves outside the quotes, while on longer, complete statement quotations, they remain within.

Hey, I was at [big pro race x] and I’m hella funny. If I write you a report will you publish it?
Sorry, but no. This is my page. Don’t be offended; there are plenty of more widely-read pages that would love to have your story. Besides, how do I know you don’t work for one of the teams/riders/sponsors? If you really want to write here, just leave a comment.

I don’t speak [language x] in this article that you linked to. How can I read it?
I speak only English. My Latin is pretty good, but that’s not generally something you speak. My Spanish is at best conversational, and beyond that, I’ve got nothing. Babelfish is a tremendous resource when following this sport; the only reason I don’t link to the translated pages is to keep from inconveniencing visitors to this site who can read those languages.

How can I contact you?
Send an email to the account name cosmo at the domain name Chances are, I’ll write back.

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