Upsetting the Natural Order of Things

Mar 13 2007

J-P Nazon? Franco Pelizotti? Who are these clowns? Where’s Tom Boonen? Where’s Fabian Cancellara? Where’s Ivan Basso? I demand superstars! Seriously, If I’d just dropped 4k on a Specialized or a Trek or a Cervelo this spring, I’d be really miffed! I thought the peloton ran at two speeds, meaning that my bike was guaranteed to win.

In all honesty, I don’t even know what bike FdJ rides..wait, Nazon is on Ag2r now? When did that happen? And look at this: a non-Disco, non-CSC American, doing well in a Belgian race? Riding a “Felt”? What the hell kind of bike name is that? Like, it “Felt” good to ride or something? Who ever heard of a bike you couldn’t get at Competitive Cyclist doing well at an important bike race?

Ah well. As long as Lennard Zinn can still write informercials, I’ll know what trick gear to buy. And at least, after these cockamamie results and the Operation Puerto dismissal, I can be absolutely certain that none of my favorite bike racers are on drugs anymore. Sure, the media says the riders “want resolution”; but who’d they interview, David Millar and Jesus Manzano?

Please. Manzano doesn’t even ride anymore, and Millar’s new schtick is “race clean” – of course he’ll get grit in his chamois over this. When you get me Danilo Hondo screaming for further investigation, then I’ll buy it. Honestly, I’m just glad cyclists have given up performance enhancing substances and left them to the people who need them the most – aging celebrities.

(report this ad)

3 Responses to “Upsetting the Natural Order of Things”